The RSPB has announced a new competition to find 'Britain's favourite farmer'. Whilst this is a laudable and positive idea to encourage and reward environmental awareness amongst farmers, a small minority at the other end of the agricultural spectrum may feel they have no chance of winning this prestigious award. The Leicester Llama is therefore pleased to announce a realistic alternative they can aim for: The 'Get orf moy laaand' award for Britain's worst farmer.
Categories will include:
- Largest acreage of land given over to stinking oilseed rape for 'biofuels' rather than growing food
- Greatest length of hedgerows removed
- Highest volume of toxic chemicals used per acre
- Most badgers and other 'vermin' unnecessarily exterminated
- Most SSSIs destroyed
The winner will be ceremonially sprayed with a muck spreader loaded with his own shite.