Friday, 16 April 2010

Fact-finding

This morning I had to go on an important fact-finding mission to Albert Village Lake, which as its name suggests is a lake near Albert Village, an outpost in the badlands of the Leicestershire/Derbyshire border. The village itself is so-called because 95% of its male inhabitants have cock rings. You may have seen the site mentioned on your pager recently after the appearance there of a 'potential first for Britain'.

The reason I had to undertake this vital work was that I've been commissioned to put together some interpretatatatative boards for various sites in Leicestershire, starting with AVL. As I didn't need Common Gull for my county list, I had never visited the site, so I thought I ought to go and have a look at it (putting the mileage down as an allowable business expense of course: a round trip of 65 miles at HMRC's approved rate for private cars of 40p per mile, let's see, that'll be £26.00 off my 2010/11 tax liability thank you very much).

Anyway, the main fact I found was this: Albert Village Lake is a large lake with lots of gulls on it and not much else.

I think it could be a rather boring interpretatative board....

8 comments:

alan tilmouth said...

I'd run with the cock ring idea bound to get some good publicity.

Richard Powell said...

At least Albert Village Lake has an impressive two-dimensional hide!

thedrunkbirder said...

What about a Slaty-backed Gull? A real possibility at the gull centre of the earth... oh, ok a Heuglin's Gull then... spoilsports

Mark said...

Presumably the village was named after a Prince Albert which following a quick glance of the Viz Profanasaurus describes it as "a ring through the bell end linked to the nipples" or something like that!

The Leicester Llama said...

Indeed. If you click on the 'cock rings' link you can read all about it on Wikipedia. Don't do it if you're of a nervous disposition though, as there are some photos as well...

Mark said...

Jesus Christ that's worse than even I could have imagined. Why oh why oh why???

The Leicester Llama said...

I did warn you!

Earl Gray or Dave for short! said...

What you could write on the boards is that its crap between April and October and full of seagulls in the winter?!