Tuesday, 20 November 2012

The End of the World is Nigh

Apparently a significant number of people on this planet believe that the world will end on 21st December 2012. This is variously known as the Mayan Prophecy, Hopi Prophecy, Doomsday Prophecy, etc. If you are one of those people, please pay close attention to the following very important announcement. And if you're not worried about it, well you should be, because it's obviously true.

God has spoken to me and told me that anyone who gives away all of their money before 21st December 2012 will be saved and go straight to heaven when the Earth is destroyed. To make it as easy as possible for you, I've added a donation button below. He also said that you don't have to wait until the day before to give your money away - entry to heaven will be on a 'first come, first served' basis, so the sooner you do it, the quicker you will get in (a bit like checking in your baggage online).

So just click the button and give me all your money (it's probably OK to keep enough to pay the next month's bills, as long as it really is all gone by the 20th). You will then have the double satisfaction of knowing that when the last trump sounds in just over a month, you and your family will be transported instantly to Paradise, whilst I and all the other miserable sinners and heathens go straight to hell where we belong.


3 comments:

Howard said...

Don't wanna be there when the last trump sounds; unless it's Donald!!

lucyjain said...

Just going to the bank now! Save me Jesus!

The Leicester Llama said...

Only 51p given away so far - looks like it's going to be rather crowded in hell unless more people take this seriously...