Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Hrumph...

... would be a polite way of putting it. ‘Arse’, ‘bollocks’ or possibly ‘fuck’ would be more appropriate to the usual tone of this blog, but people might complain if I used words like that in the title. I know it appears on a few other blogs with the time it was last updated. It’s probably called a ‘feed’ or something technical like that.

Anyway, why arse, bollocks and fuck? Well, due to a combination of the recession (and therefore being skint), not booking earlier in the year when prices were cheaper, and those bastards at flybe pricing themselves out of the market (not that it actually is a market as such – ‘monopoly’ would be a more accurate term) I can’t afford to go to Shetland this autumn. Which means that it will no doubt be a fantastic October for those who are going. Which as far as I can tell is just Mark ‘Pieman’ Reeder (who sensibly booked his flights in January and got a return from Birmingham for about £150. It’s now over £300 for the dates I wanted to go, plus another £75 for parking).

I shall therefore be having a ‘staycation’, a horrible non-word which should be banned, except that it describes perfectly what I shall be doing, i.e. literally staying at home. In bed, with the duvet pulled over my head, my phone turned off and the computer disconnected so I can’t look at Birdguides and the Shetland latest bird sightings website to see what I’m missing.

Looking on the bright side though (why not, just for once?) I certainly shan’t miss hanging around airports for hours on end, all that pointless checking-in and ‘security’ bollocks (“Did you pack this bag yourself, Sir?” “No, this complete stranger kindly offered to do it for me, what did he say his name was, Al something...”), taking your shoes off, putting everything through the scanner etc, et-fucking-c. And perhaps we’ll get some nice easterlies here instead and I can go to the east coast for the day and see a Yellow-browed Warbler. Or maybe I’ll go out and string a fly-over Richard’s Pipit or Lapland Bunting for my county list. See, it’s not all bad. I won’t miss Shetland at all really.

9 comments:

Mark said...

For what it's worth Andy I for one will miss you. Those nights in whilst Rob's 'elsewhere' just won't be the same without your wit and whisky. Instead I'll just have to make do with the two scabious cats and the last twelve months of British Birds.

The Leicester Llama said...

Thanks Mark. I will miss it really, as you can probably tell from that post! Hopefully things will have picked up by next autumn (or perhaps even next spring?), and maybe we can get Richard to haul his fat ass over from Arizona now he's freed himself from the shackles. Mind you, he's probably skint now as well.

beast said...

Sympathies in these 'crunch' times Andy. Still..as long as you've gotta pair o bins round yer neck then i'm sure 'value' can be had...[fuck the Shets....we got Burrough Hill]!
These very hard times shud be a spur to get out and find some local goodies...[i know i'm dreaming...but this is preferable to hallucinating]...
North easters on the way so i reckon there might be summat to get 'hard' over......[only yesterday i dam near 'shot me bolt' over that male pallid harrier]....sheer porn!

ps...wot price an rbfly in Leicestershire....Evington Park perhaps? These little fuckers have got to get inland...yadda yadda yadda....yawn...

thedrunkbirder said...

Fuckin' 'ell gerra room you too! It's like you've got some bromance going on.

You'll have to hope the porn fairy visits Shetland Mark...

The Leicester Llama said...

Sounds like you're jealous to me, John.

Anyway, Mark will have his laptop and Rob's internet connection, so no need for the Porn Fairy.

col said...

what about gettin a cheap flight to aberdeen and gettin on de ferry? it's not that hard, and they sell beer on board!

The Leicester Llama said...

Can't be arsed. I absolutely hate the actual process of travelling, so it's either 'get it over with as quickly as possible' or 'don't bother'!

beast said...

Agree with all the traveling is a balls ache stuff! I'd sooner be given a knock out pill like they used to give Mr.T out of the 'A' team...or..i wud like the super-power of that nightcrawler geezer with the forked tail out o the 'X-Men'..then i cud just teleport meself to the bird...

ps...i 'needed' to travel the other day and i couldn't be arsed with the effort...so i just sat there n shat meself...[toilet was far too far away for my liking]...at least ten yards....

The Leicester Llama said...

I'm waiting for them to invent a matter transporter beam thing like they had on Star Trek.

P.S. Llama Celebrity World Exclusive Scoop pics coming later this evening - watch this space! Alright, not actually this space, but the main blog bit.